Amor Fati

Merry Day! It has always been my favorite holiday when it comes to big day and new year holiday. So we have long days to take a rest or even going somewhere with the loved ones. Me? Just stay at home with my family. Though i don't celebrate christmas, I love the ambient of the christmas day. So, ho ho ho. 

December has always be my favorite, but it gave me things i always hate. This, i may say as an injustice. You know when you like things but it didn't happen as you expect. This is not fair, i thought. A lot of obstacles, a lot of things that probably blocked me from the smooth path to what so people call dream comes true. But, they say "you grow stronger from the pain". I believe that there's always a silver lining in every cloud. Insha Allah..

By the end of the year, it comes to my mind, what did i do, what have i done in this year? Was it good enough for me? for community? Did my resolutions in this year come to pass? All of questions suddenly come in mind. The answer is as same as the year before, which is, not all of them. By that i mean, there is no specific good progress in my life, then. Was it because my resolution(s) too hard to do? Too difficult to happen? Then, i think about something i probably did not do all of the time. Sincere.. Just sincerely accepted what has been written to me. thing that has been destined to me. May i have the power of getting by. Insha Allah..

It is not an age that i can play easily, this is the moment that remind me that i should wake up and go. go to catch every dreams on the paper on my wall in my bedroom. I think, by having the obstacles that i said before, Allah reminds me to disenchant myself that my dreams as wide as the sky, as much as the salt in the sea. I should and have to catch every one thing that i build up for the goodness of myself. Slow, but sure. It is fine. I have been trapped in my comfort zone for the long time. Too long. Well, i always pray to Allah to not let me be in my comfort zone, because it is dangerous. for me, for the community as well. I probably could forget about a lot of important thing that i probably can do if i am outside of that zone..

By the way, few weeks ago, i finally had a chance to rest my brain, mind, soul, body to the ... beach ! not as perfect as i imagined, but still.. remember of the sound of the waves, feel the wind that blows softly, see the color of the sun, rise and set, it really made my month. Made my December. Alhamdulillah..

Amor fati means the love of the faith (If i am not wrong). I should be positive and optimist of what will happen on next year. Just let it be. Let it be with no many resolution(s). I just want my 2016 filled with happiness, endlessly. Every single day. For the bad things that would happen, for the obstacles that i would face, i hope and pray, there is a happy thing as the substitute.
 

  إن مع العسر يسرا

(Verily with every hardship comes ease)

Once again, let us spend the last days on this year by gratitude feeling. By spreading a lot of kindness to ourselves and to the others. Thank you so much, 2015 gave me so many great experiences and lessons. Alhamdulillaah.. Wish and hope next year will be happier and more bloom than this year. Insha Allah..

November's Notion(s)

I think times really walk fast this month. More like turbo, or like a jet. I feel like it was just yesterday when i woke up from my bed and hate the idea of Monday that i should go to work, and taadaa.. it's Sunday already. For last four weeks, time keeps repeating like that. It's not clear whether i should feel happy or sad for that. 

I always try to have my me-time to do the meditation, to do the introspection about the mistakes that happened from myself or to myself. It is important to do that because you can keep on track, by that i mean life that you want to do smoothly, the path you want to walk in. 

I try to blend in every situations. Try to mingle to everyone surround. I once have read a quote from the unknown:

"Bloom wherever you are planted"

 

I always pray the same prayer that my mom told me what she has been praying for me. To let me be in the middle kind people so i could be as kind as them, to be in the middle of generous people so i can be like them, to be in the middle of smart people so i can be as smart as them, to be in the middle of lovely people so i can feel loves as much as i want to give and be loved. The reality is everyone has their own kindness, smart, and their own way to show love. Even the mother of lion has love in her heart. So i am letting myself close to everybody around. Prayers are like you ride a bicycle, when you keep riding it, slow but sure, you will arrive to the place you want. The prayers list i made, I hope it could be happen as i hope and expect it. Aamiin

Anyway, I am so happy to receive a letter from my lovely little one, Hany. She got a task from her teacher to send a letter by post, literally a letter, written down on a paper, from hundred kilometers from my house. I used to babysit her when she was 3 or 4, when all she could do just watching Shawn The Sheep but now she could write that sweet letter down for me. I am so proud of her !

Ps. Happy Thanksgiving to y'all !! I am soooo thankful for everything i have. May all of you showered by thankful feeling as well :) Let's share love as much as we can !

One Day Off

I have always been thinking of "how" I can contribute to the environment, to Indonesia, to the world. By the contribution I always think, i believe it would change things to be better, changes the world to its best position. It's always fascinating for me to read biographies, or story about heroes, scientists, and any other inspirational stories. Say Hellen Keller as one of them. My inspiration.

People are basically having a tendency to give one to another. We basically have an intention to share things we love with people we love. It is a natural. As they say Humans are social beings. I, as a human being, also have a big desire to share things i have to other people. Since i am in progress in catching a lot of things, i still want to give something i already have. An Experience. 

 p.s I used this ukulele to shut the kids in class 1 up, to stop the fight among kids in class 4, to prevent the tears of kids in class 3, to motivate kids in class 5, to teach kids how to play this in class 6. My helper was my uke !

"Convey even if only one verse" - HR. Bukhari

Giving is sharing. Sharing is Caring. Caring is Good thing. I am possibly not as good as other people who already famously rich, or smart as other scientists who already create something, yet i have an experience i want to share. Though i haven't as inspirational as any other people, i have things to inspire other. The problem is.. who will be get inspired by me?

Being a teacher is a very noble job. They genuinely make every children know a lot of things, learn about A B C, and getting endless knowledge. Being an adult is not an easy task, yet as an adult, as a grown up human, we inspire a lot of little creatures out there. Imagine when we were kids, we were unconsciously hope to grow up fast. And i had a chance to share things i could give to them. A little knowledge. 

I became a teacher for one day! I haven't even imagined it. Well, It is Kelas Inspirasi who brought me there, to SD Puspa Negara 03 Bogor. We were given a mission to tell the students about our profession for like 6-7 hours. To different classes, to different kind of children. The motto is "one day off of yours could change children a lifetime". By skip one day to the office, getting a day off, go to school (you barely know), teaching kids, could change them all their lives (and probably yours too). It was amazing! I have no word to describe it. Children are always same, cute as ever, innocent as ever. Though may be i passed some fights, or yells, or even tears, the feeling of blending with them, telling them my profession is so astonishing. I got a class from class 1 to class 6. Of course there was specific differences, as class 1 is so uncontrolled, yet the higher class is contained with more mature student. 

It is not only me bury in curiosity but them, as well. The questions, i could make them as a book that contained of their questions. But, i am happy to answer each of them. You will do the same, if you were me. Teaching people who are interested on you is so make you feel alive. The feeling is like God, i finally do something that useful, that helpful. To be honest, it was very very very exhausted teaching elementary students, though just for half of your day. I was drown on my sweats. But, don't get shocked when you plunge yourself in to this program, you will not, can not, and don't want to stop. Trust me. It was really worth it. 

A Hidden Childhood Desire

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

That question is frequently asked to some kids in kindergarten or we even frequently heard when we were kids. Being a doctor, teacher is the most common answer for that Q. To me, that question was annoying. I thought what's the problem with the surprises we will face. And it's probably because I have no specific answer for that. In the end, as i grow up, i think that is not good to have a bad thought like that and to not have a specific answer (of kind of job) for a question like that. As i walk back to the moment when i was asked about that, I thought of some answers that I might said. I wanted to be a detective, i wanted to be an astronaut, i wanted to be an artist, I wanted to be a dancer and other professions. My little me wanted to experience and do a lot of jobs. One of them was.. to be an announcer. 

 In developmental psychology theory, it is said that in adolescence, individuals tend to socialize in groups. Me and my friends, at that time, had a same hobby when the teacher was boringly explained about the theory of X or Y. It was, listening to a radio, clandestinely. If you ask me that faq which i told above, i would confidently answer that i want to be an announcer. That was Prambors Radio, the first radio I listened to, and that were Imam Darto and Sesa Nasution who motivated me to be an announcer. I was their loyal fan.

For other people, it probably is just an unimportant thing to be told, they may say "Your dream is so shallow to be an announcer", yet for me.. Being announcers is so bizarre, i thought. It is not only just a simple job. They make people happy only by their voices, jokes, and their choice of songs. You will feel so close to a lot of people although you haven't see them in person, and so will them. You can be yourself without thinking about your appearance is good or bad, your lipstick is too red or pale, and things like that. You will get a lot of information from the listener, and there are too much good things you can get from your profession. 

I have prayed continuously to ask to God for give me a chance to be an announcer. But the reality was hit me hard, and it realized me that it was 10% possible. Now, i know the community named Kelas Penyiar Indonesia, it was become 10% impossible. I got a new friends and i am so grateful to meet them by same vision, passion, and reason. I also got a lot of informations about public speaking and such, i even got a chance to visit the Mustang radio, and look at the process of broadcast itself by my eyes. I was satisfy my high curiosity. It is just a process to sharpen my skill and got a golden ticket of chance to be the real announcer, Aaamiin Ya Allah. 

  "Passion will open the door to the joy and abundance."

 

P.s I wish you get something you always dream about, think about within your passion. 

Bengkulu

I always write experiences or some unique things i felt after i had a chance to go to some places, but never told you a story of my hometown, Bengkulu. This is too special to be told, too awesome to be shared. As this is a home, and as we all know, home is where the heart is, this writing, i dedicate this to my beloved ones, to the people whom i put my pieces of heart in. 

Never been in my thought, not ever once to not thinking about my family. I am indeed a kind of family oriented person, and i am proud that i have that trait on me. I was born and raised in a Sumatera-based family. As being judged, the Sumatran is known as a "noisy" people, not literally noisy like scream or kind, but, as the amount of the Sumatran family is endless, is big, we tend to speak in high-pitched voices, and by the amount i told before, it becomes like you are in the Coachella or other big events like that. But, i am proud. We probably looked like gangsters but inside, we are no different from Hello Kitty, haha. 

 

My grandma is actually a Javanesse, so does my (alm.) grandpa. They moved out to Bengkulu and decided to live there for the rest of their life. My aunts and uncles also decided to live there, only my mother and one of my uncles who lives in Jakarta. I sometimes felt regret of my grandparent's decision, because i have to flight to Bengkulu to meet my cousins and aunts, uncles. I just can't resist to not meet them everytime. But, Bengkulu is too beautiful to be not visited, as well. Bengkulu is a home.. 

I probably can save my money for travelling to a lot of great places in Indonesia, but, it is like gravity, like a magnet, Bengkulu pull me in to its arms and hugs me tight so it becomes an addiction to always go back there. Again, Bengkulu is a home. 

 

Bengkulu has a lot of great places to be visited. First is my grandparent's (I openly invite you to come to my grand's, by the way hehe). Famous place number two is the Long Beach (re. Pantai Panjang). Well, it is probably looks like other great beaches in Indonesia, but this beach is one of my favorite. You can ride horse-drawn carriage along the beaches. Beside, it is close to the mall, so if you want to eat modern food in a beach, this beach is one of a kind. Three, you can visit Marlborough fort. I always love the moment when i am here. Four, you can visit Mr. Soekarno's house (first President of Indonesia) and it could bring you back to the moment when Mr. Soekarno sip his coffee in his balcony, or such. Five is Chinatown. This Chinatown is different from other Chinatowns in whole world. You can taste delicious Pempek or taekwan here :9 nyamm.. or other foods from Bengkulu. Number six until hundred is a lot of great places here, i can't tell you one by one so you are die in curious and decide to choose Bengkulu is a place you have to visit before you die. I guarantee you, this place is worth it (and this is not an ad.) ..

I spent my eid-il fitr this year in my hometown. And i feel so blessed to be given the time when i can spend with them, especially with my grandma. The moment we ask for forgiveness is so irreplaceable. Beside, the moment i always wait when i go back to my hometown in Eid is when me and my aunts spend some times in baking some cakes. 

 

People keep telling their big motivation should be their parents. I probably am the only one who say this, but my biggest motivation is my cousins. How i can and should do and be something to make them proud and see me as their good inspiration in living this life, in a good way. I want to teach them about the value of life. So, they are my biggest motivation in everything i do and want to do. 

May Allah always protects my family, gives them happiness every second time, give me strength to reach my dreams and make my family proud, give my family chances to reach every dreams they create, and may Allah gives me and my family a chance to change Indonesia to be better. Aaamiin ya Allah. Thank you for giving me a perfect and happy family :) Alhamdulillaah..