30th Floor

We are passing Eid-al Fitr this month. So basically (in Islam) we start our life again like a clean white paper. So it's a kind of new chapter of life, and also this month is bringing me to the new age. So it is definitely a new chapter of life of mine. New story to be written, new experience to be made, new memory to be created and i hope nothing but the good ones will be.

The standard of living well has changed for me, i think it's also applied to everyone when they grow older. I honestly still figure out on how i measure good living, but for now, it is measured by how much i contribute to the society, how much i spend money or things that i have for people in need, how much time i spend with my family, friends and also myself and of course how often i thank Allah for this life. The more of course the better (in my case). 

In terms of how good living changes, happiness levels also change for me. Funny when i ask myself "what exactly do you want to do right now?" "what makes you happy right now?", the past self of me probably would answered a lot of random things. But right now, the answer is simply "swimming". hahaha. Like i want to pay higher price for swimming freely, without fearness feeling of corona or whatever. Actually, i finally got a time to do that and when i had a chance to swim, it was blissful. As simple as that. Also, spending some times with my family makes me happy too. This month, regardless of the extreme workloads, I feel happy.

I celebrate life, thankfully. There are a lot of things that i want to get but i don't, a lot of things that people own but i don't, a lot of achievements that people have achieved but i don't, a lot of artworks that people create but i don't, and the list goes on.. I used to feel disturbed by these things, like it made me sad and blame myself, but it doesn't matter anymore for me. I've been asked by my friends about the birthday presents that i want this year (actually we have been doing this every year, every birthday since few years ago), and i told them that everything seems worthless for me, so i just need sincere prayers. It sounds like a bulshit, but that's the truth. It suddenly happens when you reach 30, I guess.  You know, it's like you're standing on the 30th floor and look to the floors below, it looks small and you kinda have a sensation of content feeling, don't you? Moreover when you look out of your window, the scenery is mesmerizing. Of course, the higher place you're in, the more wind hitting you, and somehow it scares you too. But it doesn't matter if you see the good sides and scenery, in a positive attitude and mind. It's kinda feeling like that. I feel content, thankfully. Alhamdulillah.

Something that becomes my focus nowadays is the bad news about people. I have never said anything about what's happening in Palestine these days. Not because I don't care about that but because I don't think I have enough knowledge and information to speak up about that. But thinking again, I was wrong and I have a voice here as a human being and we don't need any specific educational degree to convey about humanity. Of course that thing is the worst. It is not about who fight whom, but it's about humanity, and to kill a soul, a human being is really the worst. A lot of people have died because of covid-19 and it was added by the bombing. Can you imagine how life will be in the future? So, let's holding hand and create a peaceful life, everyone. Let's create a beautiful life by being kind to ourself and everyone, giving more to whoever needs help, praying for our  good life and everyone's,  and to not holding grudge or negative emotions in ourself for too long. #kindnesshealseverysouls.