Chapter 12: 366/366

When it comes to the end of the year I’m just so excited to say good riddance to the current year and a big waving arms hello to a bright and shiny new year. This year, i may say, has taught me a lot, has gave me a lot of tastes. Sweet, sour, and even bitter. But i enjoyed and cherished it every moment because there's the only option i can do.

366 days. It is not a short time to learn, not a short time to change, to a short time to get things you have planned. So many things i have been through for the past months, so many things i have reached too. From the happy things to the sad things, it gave me lesson to be a better version of me, to grow wiser, to reach higher, to give more, to love more. As i look back, there is nothing more i can feel but a very thankful feeling, for everything, especially for Allah swt. I love the way Allah surprises me, and indeed, Allah is the best planner of all.

It's finally come to the last post in 2016. I have finally finished my own mission, to write 12 chapters of life on this year. I'll probably do this again next year, let's see. Anyway, for the last chapter in my 2016 life, it's gonna be the most epic story i will write, ever. For the end of this year, I rewarded my life by performing Umrah. And that was the best thing that have ever happened in my life, so far. A hundred percent sure.

 

To perform Umrah or Hajj with my own earnings, with my own savings, it has always been a hidden dream for me, since ugh.. long time ago. Since i was in high school. I bought my own piggy bank to save my money for that, even more. But there are always, you know, obstacles in keeping it real. For me, there are shopping, traveling to other places or even buying foods. But if Allah found you lost, He will guide you. and indeed, Allah guides me until this very time. And there is another surprise actually. I went there all by myself. That was my very first time for Umrah, and i went alone, so basically i know no one, know nothing and this is probably the most reckless thing i have done so far. I often wondering around all by myself, but only in Indonesia. So, this step probably is going to be my step stone to the next adventure? Hehe.

People kept saying i was crazy enough to do this. Especially my parent, they were really afraid that i was going to be lost or not coming back to home. They kept warning me to always stay to the group, to not wondering around alone. But they also know me well, that it was almost impossible for me to not wandering around by myself. And i secretly did that. The experiences were so ... even money can not pay this. The things that i always remember as long as i live. My journey for Umrah was so exhilarating. I met good people, have amazingly funny roommates, smooth journey, and get so many loves from everyone (that i haven't meet and know), good surprises from Allah and so much kindness and loves from Allah. Subhanallahu Walhamdulillahi Allahu akbar. :")

 

 

One of the benefits of going alone is this, meeting new people, knowing a lot of thing and get lot of loves from people. Thank youuuu :")  

Thankyou O Allah for everything You gave me, for every lessons that You taught me, for every moments, for the air that i breath, for the life that i live. 

To the fellow readers, to my friends, to everyone, whatever happened, let it go, let it be, remember it as a good memories, took it as lessons to be learned, but keep moving forward, don't look back too long, because the future awaits ahead. For the bright year and good surprises that we will face, Happy New Year ! :)

Chapter 11: Last Straw

Is there any word that can describe exhaustedly exhausted? Like I am exhausted but very very exhausted.

I can not wait for the bright next year. Hope that all of these problems that happened lately, it is the last straw, ever. 

Chapter 10: What Do You Know When You Don't Know About Me?

Stereotype. Judgement. It kills you, not the one you judge. You become rude people all of sudden, you become a commentator all of sudden. You become someone - you think- who knows it all, but in fact, you know nothing. about it, about them. So, what do you know when you don't know about them? And, what do you know when you don't know about me?

Rude people, they - try to- kill me. They judge me, without knowing me. They say about this and that about me. They say that i am like this and that. They see me with some judging looks. To be honest, I was like that too. but i grow up. you should try it too! Then by that you will not have time to think and talk about bad things of other people. Luckily, I think i am at the point where i don't care about what people think about me. Like.. If you like me, That is cool ! But if you don't like me, it's fine !

Well, my dear.. 

You are a precious human being, a shining star, a beautiful creature, an amazing soul. 

Do not ever put all of the darkness inside you. You're too strong to let them in. Think positive always, try to stand on other's shoes. Try to see with other people's eyes. Try to hear with other's ears. So you know that there are a lot of good things that probably miss from your judgement. Don't grow up to be a grumpy bad man when you're old. You don't want to die alone, right? Because once again, what do you know when you don't know about something? :)

Chapter 9: Sky Sailing

Have you ever feel like you really want to hug the universe?

For the past months, to be honest, I think i was lost. I didn't know what to do, I have always thought that my life was so miserable, I had no dreams, I always saw the bad things in everything. I always wonder why people get all of good things, meanwhile mine is not that good. Why people get so lucky of all the time, while i am not. Somehow, i think it is quite bit unfair. I complained a lot to Allah why my life was like this, or why my life could not be like hers or his. I blamed myself a lot, I blamed the situations a lot, moreover I blamed everyone a lot. That is not right, i know. That is why i thought that i was.. lost.

I did not want myself to feel pity for myself, feel pity on everything. I hate it when i feel it. Instead, i often get jealous, on everyone on everything. I get jealous to a human being, which is, I also am a human being. And that's the silliest thing i have ever do (i think?). Why should i? Then, i did some research and read some articles, quotes, and any positive words a lot to build up myself, to be revived. I found that interesting, because it heals the pain, little by little, in a small amount, consistently, continously until you finally fully healed. I found a good one,

"And Allah found you lost and guided you"

-QS. Ad-Dhuha: 7

And indeed, Allah did, has always, always, and will always help me to find the way when i was lost. I suddenly remember the moment when i prayed a lot for things i have and am doing right now. I remember when i prayed to get a proper job. Well, i am having a very good job and very good and kind office mates. I also remember to be able to continue my study by my own earnings while go to work at the same time, and it is happening. I get back to college for my master study and still be able to keep balancing my work too. I also then remember i prayed a lot for weight loss. And this is the super amazing thing. I lost my weight, though it is not in drastic number, but i lost it. Those are just some of my countless dreams/ prayers that do come true. It is like travelling the sky, you know. When you are living your dreams.

I am sailing to the sky. I am go forth and back to see the good things that really happen to me. Well, it takes bad times sometimes to get the good ones. Sky also has silver lining or dark clouds, but mostly there's rainbow after all. Same as that, with my own version of sky sailing, it makes me feel so thankful, so grateful, because there are really a lot of good things that come to my life. I really want to hug Allah and the universe. Tightly. And i am a hundred percent sure of what i am praying for right now, it will just come true without me knowing it, in the future. And i am so excited to get all of the amazing surprises ahead. Seriously, "Fabi Ayyi Ala irobbikuma Tukazziban". I think the sentence is the fit ones to describe what i feel in this month. Well, besides of the tiring activities, whether positive or vice versa. So, which of the favors of your God you will deny?

Chapter 8: Festive Mood

It is the season for festivals! I am so happy !

So, it has been so long even like forever, i don't have a time for a picnic, for refreshing, for going to some places with beautiful nature scenery. And when i got a chance, i think i was like a kid when they got some candies or chocolates. I am so happy (i even jumped!)!

My friend just sent me that there's a festival, with jazz would be playing on the clouds. It's Dieng Culture Festival. We usually do that, i mean when there's a festival or movie screening or just music event, we sent each other that info. And it stopped until the sending info, and in the end we often not attend to the events.

Life is full of surprise. Sometimes, things you have to do is open the door and welcome it with the open hands. Widely.

This time, off we go! It was not planned. They say, things without plan will happen more exciting. And i always agree. This time too. 

Indonesia is a very beautiful country. Every side of it, it left me an awe feeling. The fields, the mountains, the sky, the trees, even the road, it makes me feel so lucky to be an Indonesian. It rises my nationalism and thankful feeling. And i am so proud. This festival too, it made me so proud that we still have doing this kind of tradition.

There was something unique in this Dieng Culture Festival. We see the jazz performance from great musicians on the mountain. That's why the concept is said jazz on the cloud. After having a very good plays for our ears, we had a chance to witness thousand of lanterns fly on the sky. It was so beautiful. I have see some people even wrote down their hopes and dreams on the lanterns before fly it high. It was such an amazing experience. It was just so good.

Other uniqueness is we can follow the sequence of hair-cutting event. Rambut Gembel was the hair-cutting event that was devoted to the children with unique hair. It was rambut gembel. It was like hair in reggae musician, just the hair grow naturally on this children. In Indonesia, it is said as Gimbal and people with the hair like that are usually seen like neglected people (Gembel) and that's why the name is Rambut Gembel. And it has story in it. The natives said that the children got high fever when they were babies and after that the  hair would grow. Funny is the hair is not grow fully like that, they still has their own hair whether it straight or curly hair. The rambut gembel can not be cutting unless the children wants the hair to be cut, by themselves. If they are forced to cut the hair, they will have high fever and it will grow like that again. And when they want the hair cut, they usually ask for somethings as repay, like when i was there, one girl ask for a big pink bear doll, and there are cats, and other asked for a cow as a repay. The natives said too that they ask for various things, even just for an apple as a repay.

One morning in Dieng, we made our time to climb the mountain to witness the beauty of sunrise. It was a very long road and i always hate the idea of climbing a mountain, or the stairs. I really hate it. I just hate it. But turns out i always climb a mountain wherever i go. I hate it. I just hate the fact that i probably love it. I always stopped for some times to breath. And in every steps, i see the sky, the stones road, it makes me.. speechless. The scenery is just naturally, effortlessly beautiful. The rays of the sun, the trees, the sky, it was so perfect. I think my life right now is like climbing the mountains. It is full of tears, full of sweats but i will got the beautiful things, in the end. All is well. All is well. 

I have visited Wonosobo before with my family, but we have no chance to come to the event like this. And when i went back there, i was so excited. For the event and for these two things. Mie Ongklok and Bubur Ketan Hitam. 

The festive mood is not stand still. We were just celebrated the Independence day, and it was so fun too! Dirgahayu Republik Indonesia, Saya bangga. :)