Chapter 9: Sky Sailing

Have you ever feel like you really want to hug the universe?

For the past months, to be honest, I think i was lost. I didn't know what to do, I have always thought that my life was so miserable, I had no dreams, I always saw the bad things in everything. I always wonder why people get all of good things, meanwhile mine is not that good. Why people get so lucky of all the time, while i am not. Somehow, i think it is quite bit unfair. I complained a lot to Allah why my life was like this, or why my life could not be like hers or his. I blamed myself a lot, I blamed the situations a lot, moreover I blamed everyone a lot. That is not right, i know. That is why i thought that i was.. lost.

I did not want myself to feel pity for myself, feel pity on everything. I hate it when i feel it. Instead, i often get jealous, on everyone on everything. I get jealous to a human being, which is, I also am a human being. And that's the silliest thing i have ever do (i think?). Why should i? Then, i did some research and read some articles, quotes, and any positive words a lot to build up myself, to be revived. I found that interesting, because it heals the pain, little by little, in a small amount, consistently, continously until you finally fully healed. I found a good one,

"And Allah found you lost and guided you"

-QS. Ad-Dhuha: 7

And indeed, Allah did, has always, always, and will always help me to find the way when i was lost. I suddenly remember the moment when i prayed a lot for things i have and am doing right now. I remember when i prayed to get a proper job. Well, i am having a very good job and very good and kind office mates. I also remember to be able to continue my study by my own earnings while go to work at the same time, and it is happening. I get back to college for my master study and still be able to keep balancing my work too. I also then remember i prayed a lot for weight loss. And this is the super amazing thing. I lost my weight, though it is not in drastic number, but i lost it. Those are just some of my countless dreams/ prayers that do come true. It is like travelling the sky, you know. When you are living your dreams.

I am sailing to the sky. I am go forth and back to see the good things that really happen to me. Well, it takes bad times sometimes to get the good ones. Sky also has silver lining or dark clouds, but mostly there's rainbow after all. Same as that, with my own version of sky sailing, it makes me feel so thankful, so grateful, because there are really a lot of good things that come to my life. I really want to hug Allah and the universe. Tightly. And i am a hundred percent sure of what i am praying for right now, it will just come true without me knowing it, in the future. And i am so excited to get all of the amazing surprises ahead. Seriously, "Fabi Ayyi Ala irobbikuma Tukazziban". I think the sentence is the fit ones to describe what i feel in this month. Well, besides of the tiring activities, whether positive or vice versa. So, which of the favors of your God you will deny?