End - Begin

Good day, people ! so have you already thanked God today ? It's October, the creepy scary month finally comes. Halloween ! Well, it is not as creepy as the halloween, in my version. i finally wrapped my thesis, and it finally ended. i ended my college in 4 years. as my this year's resolution .. i was soooooo very happy. who doesnt ? who didnt anyway? so i thanked God undoubtly, every second time :D

What Next?

September finally comeeeessss!! the month that full of sacrifice, fights and prays. It remainds me that i already spend 4 years to study in college. :" so sad. It reminds me of my best friends, my classmates that i always miss much, and the activities in it. What have i done all this long ? What have not?  

The nervous i felt when i started my first day as college student, the afraidness i felt when i have to come in front of class, presentated, the happiness i felt when i get an A eventhough it wasnt purely came from my brain haha, the joys that i felt when i spent time with my friends, watched dvds in Restu's dorm, hahah, the curiousity i felt when me and my classmates made some circle and spent all class off, shared about every important and unimportant things.. the excitements i felt when i had to practice choir together with my friends untill we fly away to join the competitions..

Memories are memories. Sweet and bad the memories are depend on us..

Thankfully, i choosed to made some sweets memories to remember. Now, i choose my self to make some good and sweet memories for my future. So , what have not i done this far ? What next?

The real fighting starts here, starts from this month. I have to focus on my dreams, on my future. What have done be done.. the losts, the gets, i take them as lessons. For the losts i felt, i have to make it right so i may not feel that hurtful feelings again. Ryt?? For the gets? I will make some more. What can we do as human beside doing some goods and make good stories to remember, right ?



I wish you all and my self lot of lucks,
Xoxo, Uci

Lucky Or What?

Good day peopleee !! So how is your Saturday ? It is kind of good time spending the day at home, doing nothing and just enjoy the time.. Well, i have lot of lessons that i learned this week. Life is always about learning right?

I learned how to make some cupcakes this week. Well, Ganis taught me how to make some delicious cupcakes. That was kind of awesomen lesson i have learned. While i put the cream on the cupcakes, i got a phone call and say that i won in writing competition and got a gift that i may not necessary need but want. Well, some people say that God gives what you need, not you want. Well, my new lesson is, whether you need, or you want, God will gives you both.. i really thanked Allah for whatever it called. I mean, whether that was my luckiness or my ability to write, i thank God, undoubtly..

I had a great quality conversation with one of my best friend, a day ago. Even from little convos gives you a lot lessons to learned. Well, i shared about dreams, i talked about passions, and that what people should do in conversation. Well, good conversation not always contains about another people's lackness, right ? While you being in a circle of friends, and there arent good things to hold to, there is not mutualism symbiosist in it, why do you keep it any longer ? Life must go on... you know that.

What is Sweeter?

Love. It often correlated to something sweet. Yes, i also think that every loves are sweet. 

I've been hypnotized by programs that connected to travelling. Yet those are movies or films or either only sounds on the radio. My fault, i am too ambitious to get my dream, that already lived by those travellers, as soon as possible yet i think i have no try. Live. it is complicated to talk about it, without any love. So is travelling. I've just watching the show that hosted by couple travellers. They both are super epic cool, epic sweet. They show their love for each, and also to earth, by travelling. I remember how Nabi Adam and Hawa met and felt in love, it was also by travelling. They separated by thousand miles distance, and met up after arounded the world. That was epic sweet. The couple travellers have the essence love, definition of true love. They met, and they will spend the rest of their times with that love. How cant't be that love is not sweet?  What is sweeter?

Lesson of the week : Do not ever stalk the couple travellers, moreover the sweet hot couple travellers that fall in to love constantly. it will bring jealousness to yourself.

Something sweeter is i think the love that given by your friends. your true friends. the more you grow up, the more you know who's good, who's better, who's best. A wise friend told me, "You can't be claim he or she as your bestfriend in a year. There is something important to claim your friends as your best called "interactions". how can you claim he or she as your best while your time is short? people changes, so do you.." So, after so long i have a lot of good friends that i thought they are my best, i was wrong. True friend's supports and treats are sweet. What's Sweeter?

Lesson of the week : Sometimes, something you only have to do in friendship is only observe. observe people around you, don't think or judge or speak, just observe. you'll get a lot of things from your observations. You dont have to think something trashy like your haters, people who betray you, what you can do now is accomplish your dreams. :)

Another sweetness that sweeter is the love that given from your family, especially from a father (in my version). i have no sweet thing that could compared with my father's love. The loves that he gives is unspokable, untold. The way how he supports me to finish my last thesis, the way he treats and helps me while i am in my confusions, the way he always be there while i am happy either sad. What is sweeter?

Lesson of the week : Make your parent proud, with your efforts in finishing thesis. Trust me, they will be so proud and happy watching your progress in finishing that "thing-that-i-don't-want-say-the-name".

Most of all, something sweetest i have getting is a love from your God, ya Rahman ya Rahiim.. everything that you may see it as sweetnesses are happened from one and only Lord, Allahu Akbar. The feeling of loved, the chances i always get, the family i luckily have, the perfect eyes, ears, heart that can see the loves, hear the loves and feel the loves from everyone around, and most of all, Live. An almost perfect life. What's sweeter? I have nothing sweeter but the love that God gives. it includes every loves i see, hear and feel sweetly..

Lesson of the week : Live. Live your life happily. Enjoy every little things in it. No complains, No worries, No hates, No angers, Nothing negatives. Just live, happily. Why? Because you only live once. i say again, You Only Live Once :D

"Which of the graces of your Lord that you can deny?" (55:13)

What's the conclusion?

As we grow up, there are lot of things that may stand still and getting clearer. Dreams.. It getting clearer on our head. What we want to do, what exactly we want in life, and etcetra etcetra. Big question of that is how we can reach it. Or when we can reach it. That’s it. Since something I really hate always comes yet we can’t afford that we named it “ages” comes, I also hate my self not giving big progression to get my dreams or passion. I envy people who already know their passion. Sometimes I wish God switches my life and another successful person’s life, only for a day, knowing how they get their successes. I mean, laying on the bed, of course, is not how they get their successes, right? There are so many rules around me that I think actually the reasons I can’t go forward. Pitiful. I know. Blame the rules in not having my self progressions to achieve my dreams. But still in my defense, is that may be one of reason me can’t achieve my dreams fastly?  

“Every once in a while don’t be afraid to break the rules you’ll never know what can happen” – modern family

Helo May, We Meet Again !

While there's a happy, there's a sad. While there's a live, there's a dead. Well, we all have been passed the sad either happy days.. Like something happened in the last month, we lost one of our best Ustadz, Uje. my deep condolences send to his family or people who feel lost and cried for him. in other side, there's a live. the babies born to the world, also with the cries. i thank Allah for create the balances. i also thank Allah for the life i have and bringing me to this month again, my month :) Beside, the fear comes again, being old ... i really love even i want to celebrate that May is coming. beside, the fear is getting bigger because i will be 22, not anymore 21, or even forever 21.. i will face the "real" life ahead, of course after my graduation that my lecture's target is also this year. i mean, why do i always feel the fear while the happiness and joys i also always feel.. the negatives are surround me. how the live will bring me. with those negatives, i always try to fight it by the positives. it is very human being to feel negatives about everything, thinking too hard about everything but i believe and positive that this month will bring me to the unforgettable and amazing things. insha Allah ... :)

Oh Why Dear?

Speaking of reasons, i am kind of everything-happened-to-be-a-reason person. I always ask and wonder how it could be happen or why that could be happen or what it will be happen or another questions.. I guess, may be that's why people not really want to close to me. Yeah because i need reasons. Also, may be i am not that smart, so i always questioning and wondering.. 

And now... Oh Why Dear?

I ask to the person who always blabbering anything or complaining .. Why Dear ?

I ask to the person who always not remember another person's goods.. Why Dear?

I ask to the person who says that she/he knows me best yet talking me behind.. Why Dear?

I ask to the person who says to another person about others... Why Dear?

I ask to the person who always get mad if everything that happen not the way she/he expect.. Why Dear?

You know, from all of the questions above, i made the questions that i should answer that by myself. i know all of that questions were just about me asked my self... Oh Why Dear?

But something i really know, that i know i am really perfectly not perfect. but i realize that i am a part of a circle of imperfect-ness... so, i want to ask another question to another person that (may) thinks that she/he is perfect...

Oh dear, why are you keep talking about another person while you act exactly same like people you talk about? Oh Why Dear...?

(no) Regrets ?!

oh my God, been busied this month, lovely month with internship things, works, and another stuffs, so i couldnt post since.. forever? ahaha. anyway, it's february and i know it's too late to say, Happy Valentine's day. may all of you send me your loves as much as that are, and you get showered by lot of hearts and loves :"D . well, with these internship things, it really is fun doing and scoring psychology test with my fellows, and yes, with that happiness, sorrows are surround. last week, i decided to come to Indonesia Fashion Week 2013 which was ubercool ! the designers, the designs, the models, everything seemed perfect for me, but not with the organizer. but yeahhh i enjoyed fashion shows, helped models to fit their clothes, helped designers, and etcetra etcetra, so.. with that job, i take two days off of my internship, and not thought what will happend. three days after, i got an email that said i was accepted as participant in Cinta Indonesia, and next i just knew that my essay got high point, of course from my friend. well, feel like devastated you know, because i thought that i may got a lot of informations about religions, and of course, a lot of friends which are smart. i got a lot of good friends also from IFW, but.. still, i feel like i surrounded by regrets you know.. :" well it makes me think that i should considering what goods and what best . may Allah give me another good experiences that i should take from that dialogue. Amen. anyway, Sudirman gets flooded ! again ! it really was fun, spent your day , face the heavy rains, floods with your best, haha. well, should i say, have a nice night ? alhamdulillah, thankyou for making my day filled by loves and experiences, February, thank you :D

Joys

it's been a month ago i wrote and forget i've passed the new year, soo new resolutions, new life, new spirits and everything new (it should be). hahah ! happy new year , eventhough its toooo late to say happy new year. :p

well, i had a very very very fun and eappy time few days ago. i accompanied my granny back to hometown. an olders' trouble, always wanted to go back to hometown. i was with my pleasure accompanied her back to Bengkulu, so i could met my cousins. and yes i met them. they are love. i mean, when another people says their motivation or reasons of living life is their parent or theirself, well, loudly, i 'll say mine is my cousins :D 

i met Hany, oh my Lord, finally. for God's sake, or another's, i really really missed her! my little girl has grown up little to be a princess. i met Rizky, he's sooo funny :3 ! then, Kakak Ray, who always be a prince. i mean his charming face. no body can beat him. then Rara who always patience face her sister and cousins. dek Diva, mas Redho, Dani, and Lian. they are the reasons of me to life, happily. :) 

PRAISE THE LORD ! thanks for the chance for me to feel these joys. 2013 will be my awesome year, positive!