Bustle

Been busied by tasks, doing all of the college-things, and home-works with the musics acompanny me. really, it sounds boring, yes it is ! i mean, doing all of that things every single days, and it rounds and rounds. Gah ! i often think about what will happen in next 4 years if i do this and that and bla bla, will it be as suit as my efforts ? Looking for these activities, i am not like another people who do another great activities beside college or home-things, sometimes, envious surround me. But, should i give up or crying on my pillow because of that ? no. however, i love my bustles right now. it busies me yet make me productive, even with those college and home works. beside, having fun with tasks and music and glass of milk? oh i like ! :D

"I find that different types of musics are good for certain activities" - Peter Steele

Useless

A complicated feeling comes to me. in between sad and happy. :(: , it doesnt mean to complain again and again, i just feel like... useless

With all of this meeting (which is not a professional or useful, yet just hang out with some friends), does it necessary ? i mean, God give me just one time to life, one time to death. i am not kind of lucky person to have two lives and a death. so, is this the good way spending this one life time ? i thanked God for every piece of chesses, for lot of pizzas, and another delicious foods and more that come in to my tummy. how could i just enjoy it , keep it as fat in my body and not change it to energy ? i think i just dont know how, or may be dont want to know how ? 

Looking lot of inspiring blogs just make me realize that i am nothing, there's nothing that i can show off to people, i mean, like there's no achievement i've get. how could i go to New York, or Greece, or London or even Scotland if i have do nothing and umm hard to find good thing that may be useful for people around ? people will look at me as a groucher, complainer or even as a person who is ungrateful, right ? but my defense, look at your self, are you proud of your self if you cant do anything useful for your self, at least? I pray to God for show me the way to get the success, the way to go abroad, the way to find my passion. but then i realize, as long as i am in a comfort zone, which means, sitting infront of tv, or laying on my bed and just watch the dvds, all day long, week and even month long, how could this be possible ? should i organize my to-do-list ? i am not kind of organized person, anyway. well, i'll try ! after you read this story of me, could you give me, some advices ? :"" i am exhausted being useless....

p.s : november's joys are starting.

November 10th, Happy birthday to the kindest and carest chairmate, ever, Virginiar Novanda !! Thankyou for every lessons you taught, for every kind and good thing you've done, Thank you and Happy Birthday Giin :*

November 11th, Happy birthday to the best of best listener ever, IBET ! you always can hear the words that i haven't ever talk. aa you are the best , beet ! may the happy life come to you, every second time, may you always under His protection, showered by His mercy, and wish you all the best ! <3 p="p">

The Modern Nerd

GOOD DAY , EVERYONE ! spending all day long in the library, doin some tasks and ... have skyped with Aulia. milenium era, when distance does not matter for keep contacting, what a modern nerd :) So what are you up to guys in this beautful cloudy tuesday? :3 

Being aloness does not always boring or devastating, sometimes, with your aloness, the ideas come to you without any predction before. it just the most amazing moment when you are dating wth your ideas, write it and make it happen, it's like you are being einstein the modern era haha. too much ? no. people think. as long as you think, so as long as the ideas become soooo important to realize that you are human.

paper art (paper birds and ships) were made by my self, such a fulfilling energy, playing with papers :)

While did task, i just think about "how". How could i be a successful person? How to make my dreams and these ideas that dancing in my mind not just as dream or ideas? How can i make people around me so proud of me ? and how if i just can't do and answer all of those hows?

Then, i get an enlightment. i think about "why". why should i think about the hows ? why don't i just do the contains of the hows? why i just complain or thinking about something that even still in the brain ? why? the why(es) just let me feel as a modern nerd. i mean, it's okay to think much, but you're not living in einstein or edison's time. 2012. everything that you need just come to you as smple as it should be. you just need to utilze those tools, wisely, successfully, and rightly. that how the modern nerd should think. 

so happy work with these pink-ish :"")

Don't you think how to go to the moon, think about why can't i go to the moon, and after you find the reasons and let them to be the reasons how i can go the moon. this is such a kind of my defense. i shouldn't think about how make this finish,  mean seminar proposal, and after i found that, which is a laziness, i should fight for that laziness. with pray, and trying harder, as well. bismillah, Allah must helps people who endeavor. insha Allah :) 

p.s : it was really fun had a conversation with wudik. such a little entertainment while i thought i got stress here haha. <3 p="p">

 look at those faces, haha ! :D

why did it full by "HAHA" words ? hahaha :p

Medusa and Shrek

GOOD DAAAY ! Oh my god, this is sunday and it shines ! what are you doing today ? having fun with the sun or the light? :D

Nothing better to do in this sunday but dating your laptop, camera and a glass of milk cofee :) well, everyone, Happiness is sooo simple :). well, i took lot of pictures this afternoon, spending my lovely sunday and then... i just realize that i have hair that looks like ... Medusa

this pict of me, made by : Nanda :)

Good to know the story about her. She was a beautiful girl, but with her pride, she was damned to looked ugly with ... what do you call it ? snake hair ? : / and become soo ugly with her hair. she's just had everything, beauty, rich untill she was damned just because her personality. and i get it, well personality defeat the beauty. when you have a less beauty face or physic, but you have good personality, people will still love you. i get it. 

The reality is... we can make example as Shrek ! he hasnt good look but his personality is just so sweet but people still keep away and fear of him. i mean, like shrek like me haha. however, the personality is number one in this era, right ? and i get another conclusion that the beauty one is the star.

But, after all i get it, both of them, i mean good looks and good personality, do i have them both ? i recognize that i dont have them both at all. i mean, i am not beautiful, i also have bad temper, and it means i am no longer stand with any beauty, either it in looks or personality. but i think there's another variable that make me still surrounded by good people.

It is.... Confidence :) i am soo high in that. i mean, neither good looks nor good personality, as long as you believe in your self, you are being your self, it makes you feel so confidence of you. that doesnt mean you dont care about yourself or even people arround, no. you just show your personality and your looks by confidence. even you dont have any good in your shape of body, but there's till part of you that you can show off, like my hair :p and in personality, there's another behaviour that can stand with another people beside your temper, like your kindness ? well, everybody, your lacks sometimes become your power, indeed. it depend on how you use what has been given by God, properly. :) 

Breakthrough !

Good day, everybody ! Feel so good, tonight then i decide to post.

Well, have you ever been so bored and you try to make somethin unusual to do ? like dancing or singing but infront of lot people, not hiding in your bathroom ? haha i usually do that when i feel bored, anyway. embarassed ? no ! i just express what i feel by that. when i am sad, i tend to shut my mouth and listen mellow songs, i ever tried to do unusual thing while i feel so sad, like ... going to the mall, all by myself and .... watch movies or playing or go to book store. try !

By the day i passed, i just learn that everyone has one feeling that they are on the top of boredom. i mean, like doing same routinities everyday, and want to get out from that black area, like climbing, travelling or etcetra. but have they ever thought to do something unusual that may useful to another people ? UFF show it, by its way....

I've did tell you about my business in UFF, anyway. it took my emotionals, energies, even happiness. haha . really. i mean i was in the point of, i give up ! but then lot of people boost me, as a one of heads in UFF sequences, to keep on fighting to make another people, especially my project officer, Thata, proud of me. ive done my best, i think. and i am soooo proud and satisfied of my self. lead people is just so ... a little part of me. and make lot of people satisfied is absolutely one of my aims for living. by the breakthrough, i learn that we should use our creativity to create something different, to inovate, to dig our potential that even we do not know about. no matter people will mock us, or insult us or even humiliate us, as long as there is a will, absolutely, there is a way, right ? 

Rêves

Bonne nuit ! trying to speak in france but yeah, with a lot of help from google translate, of course. soooo, want to ask you, how many times youve been dream of something a day ? 

Rêves, means dreams in english. only a word with lot of meanings, which is good or vice versa. im gonna tell you mine. there are lot of dreams and there are abstract in my mind. i mean, there are lot of people out there that has dreams and step to catch them but not me. i mean, i want to do or get lot of things, i often think what is your dream actually, bitch? people already one step faster than you, they already flapping their wings, while you are still sleep on the branch. 

Untill today, a movie by Eugene Panji with titled "Cita-Citaku Setinggi Tanah" was so inspired me. well, where there are lot of people say to dream as high as you can, as high as sky, this movie says in different sight. 

"That's no matter how much the dreams are, how high or how good your dreams, the important is the effort to make that real" 

As the time goes, everything changes, so do you. we have to have high need of changing and direct it to the good one. i make dream in short phase, finishing my college and get bachelor degree :_) Bismillah. Keep fighting, optimist, positive and you are shinning, uci ! yes you really are, insha Allah :)

p.s : Another October's Joys...

Octobre, 12th . Happy birthday the only one man i love most, ma pere, Mr Maderun. i wish and pray nothing but the best for you, papa. you know, i always and will always love you , and it much ! :*

Growing

Bonsoir,Octobre!
 

Meet me again here in my college's lab, doing nothing in break time before get in the class again an hour later, then i blog. September just gone too soon, so many memories, either good or bad, would be memorable, would be took as a lesson, as well. lessons of life. lessons of being better. lessons of prepare of getting old. 

As the time goes by, so does my age, i am counting down the months, the weeks, the days,even hours to add my number of age, prepare my self to get something that may shows that you are old, wrinkled. haha. growing, the simple word yet having lot of meanings. growing, had bad impression of me. it was like i will lost my childish, my fun, and everything that related with it. but i just realized that time flies,everything changes, you can't be always stand on your past, you have to change, as well. growing, not become something that i may affraid of, it comes be something i have to face. and it's good.

you know, age is just a number but young is forever - Prambors

Being mature, not always losing your childish, or fun or even happiness, you can get all of them in different version. doing fun in mature man version haha. you can be wiser, people loves you, you can choose one between two, change is fun. another fun is you dont have to fight with another people and it means you are under the peace. eventhough people did something bad to you and they didnt or may be dont apologize you, and instead you asking apologize, it was relieved your heart. you should forgive their sins as well, ask apologize sincerely.no more revenge, hate, anger, and it made you happier, trust me ! i've just did it and feeling grateful :)

Smile, baby. Smile, as much as you can, eventhough there're so much sorrows in your heart, just keep smilling. it helps you to keep thinking positive and instead act positive. it begins just from the little thing, and it's called smile:)

Bitter and Sweet

Good day, everybody. how's your thursday?

Another memories, bitter and sweet. yes, we're living among that taste. taste of life. you know, when you're hurted by someone or more, you can't handle your pain, you can't push your feeling away, like you want to cry at that time, eventhough it just a little thing, it just a "thing", you will always find that there's always wisdom beside that. something that may make you stronger, or understand that being you is not an easy thing.

Just went to library with Winda, had fun, looked for any ideas to give our proposal "a title", and did another thing, yet there's a thing that really really hurted me, as well :"( you know, another friends of me just so annoying and being a jerk. they did that for questionable reason. i exactly didn't know the reason. i did bad thing, yes, but that didn't harm them, i think. that was so mean. i mean, like i often being a jerk as well, but i apologize for that. you know, being me, someone who tried to understand another egoist human, who yield, who try "hard" to not fighting, is a little hard. being people like this sometimes just hurt your self, you know. i said that doesnt mean i am not an egoist, i am. i just always apologize for my trait. i mean, i tried to not hurting another's feeling. at least, i tried. to apologize, to understand.  yeah that may be my defense. my defensive mechanism. and i am sorry for that. oh God, i wish i can forgive anyone who already hurted me. that's the hard thing of me, as well. forgive. 

After all those fighting between my logical mind and illogical mind, i finally thought that that is a process of being mature. do not think the bad, yet think the good of them, the jerks. think about the good and sweet thing that your bestfriend did to you. being wise. hard but just let it flow. beside, you're suggesting your self, youre a lovely person, people love you, indeed. i thank God for every lessons that i get, Alhamdulillah and thank you so much, Winda :"")

Delightful

GOOD DAY ! good day, everyone ! i am sooooo very happy when i write this anyway, yet huf been tired laughed all day long yesterday. well, here the stories, go  ...

Well, me and my highschool friends had a plan to did a breakfast. i was trusted as an event organizer, as usual, every year, every meeting. well, okay, i took this challenge, again, and again. feel so sincere when i took this. i mean, like mm it's okay, the important thing is we can gather together. for the beginning, we looked for the date, we even just planned this before ramadhan -_- . full of madness, anger, high patience, arranged the date. when another dealed in sunday, another gave his/her protest because they had another schedule. geez ! i had surrended to organize this breakfasting, i mean, hell you, all of you make my day bad, worse and worst ! but Inuk is one of my friends who always support me to sincere to face all of those monkeys (LOL, sorry) and talk to them slowly and set the date for this breakfasting. then, i continued my struggle. 

Little story of my teenager phase in that class, x4, met them, first time in highschool, such a.. you all jerks, stay away from me ... really, they're all freak, without exception, include me, either. untill, we knew each other. we supported each other when classmeeting,or in test (LOL), we sticked up each other like when the boys played basketball, or football, all of the girls screamed and supported them all day long, said the bad words to another team haha, mocked another team, so teenager, didn't it? when the boys played kuda tomprok, all of the girls joined to feel the atmosphere with screamed and laughed. when the girls played around like chit chatted or did some girl stuffs, the boys were not feel ashamed to blended with us, they also told us their story. we watched movie in class, we conspired to worked on the teachers that we didnt like, haha. we like... stick together, understand each other, hugged or cried together, cried also laughed all day long.. yes, we've been a shoulder to lean on for every of us. that was the bestfriends were for, right? :)

HAHAHAHA ! we're soo 17, baby ! 

Here  us, nowadays ! :)

When another people in another side of the world may be felt anxious or sad or be bullied in their highschool,  i'm sorry, this is not offense, i just say like we're lucky to be in our class. it felt like our second home. me and my friends spent almost half a day and more in that class, and we were not felt burdened, well yeah with teacher stuffs, yes. but no with our class. happy everyday, yes absolutely, no doubt. we always have our funny story to tell to another people. we can make another people feel jealous of our friendship. we are, superb ! yes ! with all of the happy stories that i told you, that doesn't mean we havent been in fighting. haha. teenager phase, everyone ! we fighted twice a day (may be). like little mad but two hours later, back to our happy things. haha, have i already make you jealous, anyway ? :p

So, back to yesterday, day minus one, we were still on our fighting, about the.. place and time and how to get there. Fy'all made me stressed -_- well, after we fight about all that tiny things, with my superpower, i successed made all of us came, yeah with another hands, either. whatever. we were soooooo effin happy ! laughed all night long, told the stories and took pictures inifinitely haha, mocked everybody, talked about our stupidity, ahaha. we also prayed for you, Pusme, wherever you are, we still remember and love you :*. the most important thing was, we, eventhough physically, we changed, we were not really changed. we were still crazy haha , no exception, include me. lol. we are growing up, but that is not a big deal, we are .... forever young ! \:D/ Alhamdulillah, i am sooooo sooo feel delightful to have y'all (hyperbolic). thankyou Inuk, Adit, Yuli, Arum, Aris, Daru, Feny, Puput, Putu, Gitta, Sani, Yoga, Aksa. you made my daaaay :D

told cha, Pusme, we prayed for you. we love you :"")

here i introduce my really lovely friends.

left to right

bo : arum, me, yuli, fenny

top: aksa, putu, adit, daru, aris, inuk, puput, yoga

really, really miss you Fenyyyyyyy :""*

me with Gitta :")

p.s : thankyou ! not with all my fuckin bad words,(LOL) i'll say i love youuuuuu all so much :* meet up asap again, XOXO !

Positively Awesome

Hi ! i am so happy tonight. well, thanks to my best friends, my cousin and sissy that make me feel this and my awesomeness, positively. haha so self adorer, whatever. going to tell you some of awesome stories anyway. still about breakfasting and hanging out, as usual, dudes ! here the stories, go...........

I just planned to did breakfasting with my junior high school gank, haha the name is so ... gonna make you speechless ! the name of the gank is Crazy Animals. it contains 8 persons in it. well, we just planned to breakfasting and known 2 of us couldn't join because of some reasons. it's okay we accepted that untill..... we were in the sushi restaurant and only 4 of us could come. what did you do if you were me ? not angry at all, really, we're 21 anyway, but very very dissapointed with big mouths ! it's okay, we still had fun. me, Wina, Rere and Susu. i miss youu guys, and another 4 of us, surely. positively awesome face those 2 big mouths anyway.
 

le-ri : me, Wina, Rere, and Susu. love youu : *

Gonna tell you little of my story in Crazy Animals. i have named as amphiby because of my sweat skin. in cold or hot, i still sweat. i called and known as Froggy. hahah. forget for another nick name, but we were equaled as animals, and thats why our Genk name is Crazy Animals. hahaha. we were so famous (in our thought, lol) yet we were so pious. i mean we (thought that we were) naughty, noisy, yet (the real) we were so pious. :p . look, i dont care what you are really do now, the reason i want to join this breakfasting that i miss you ALL, so much ! really ! see you again .... when all of us have spare time and want to meet up. :")

years, ago :"" miss you all guys, really 

After met with Wina Rere Susu, me and my sissies talked all night long, chit chatted, and we took photos. haha. so complicated and noisy, anyway. we talked out loud, and laughed so hard as well yet it was so fun and happied that we had quality time together. again, we are positively awesome. here's the evidence : p

 

silly sissy stuffs. haha we are awesome, no doubt , trust me ! 

And tonight, the real of evidence that i am really awesome, haha kidding, Not! i had an appointment to met my best girls, Muthe and Rany to breakfasting. i waited for them almost an hour, i was reaaaaaaaaly bored and sweated, almost mad and sleepy as well. untill they came, i came into the car, they gave me late yet very very sweet gift. speechless, eh ? after five cakes and dimsums, almost five months, i still get the birthday gift. really ? positively awesome, No doubt. well i may a Barney Stinson's student in class of awesomeness lesson. haha.

a box, seriously ? what's inside, anyway ? :o

so this is a magic box that make me speechless and feel super awesome and have two awesome bestfwen. thankyou Rany and Muthe, so much ! 

Soooo Speechless, thankyou a lot Muthe and Rany. they are so best ! no doubt. so sure hundred percent! after Rany's birthday bash, for four months, we just meet again today. lot of stories, laughes, sads, and everything. like i miss them so much and they gave me that pretty present. Alhamdulillah. thankyou so much mi blay and mi muthe. you both are super awesome ! Thankyou Lord, Alhamdulillah. o:)

le-ri : Muthe, Rany and Me. schweet :""3