Another memories, bitter and sweet. yes, we're living among that taste. taste of life. you know, when you're hurted by someone or more, you can't handle your pain, you can't push your feeling away, like you want to cry at that time, eventhough it just a little thing, it just a "thing", you will always find that there's always wisdom beside that. something that may make you stronger, or understand that being you is not an easy thing.
Just went to library with Winda, had fun, looked for any ideas to give our proposal "a title", and did another thing, yet there's a thing that really really hurted me, as well :"( you know, another friends of me just so annoying and being a jerk. they did that for questionable reason. i exactly didn't know the reason. i did bad thing, yes, but that didn't harm them, i think. that was so mean. i mean, like i often being a jerk as well, but i apologize for that. you know, being me, someone who tried to understand another egoist human, who yield, who try "hard" to not fighting, is a little hard. being people like this sometimes just hurt your self, you know. i said that doesnt mean i am not an egoist, i am. i just always apologize for my trait. i mean, i tried to not hurting another's feeling. at least, i tried. to apologize, to understand. yeah that may be my defense. my defensive mechanism. and i am sorry for that. oh God, i wish i can forgive anyone who already hurted me. that's the hard thing of me, as well. forgive.
After all those fighting between my logical mind and illogical mind, i finally thought that that is a process of being mature. do not think the bad, yet think the good of them, the jerks. think about the good and sweet thing that your bestfriend did to you. being wise. hard but just let it flow. beside, you're suggesting your self, youre a lovely person, people love you, indeed. i thank God for every lessons that i get, Alhamdulillah and thank you so much, Winda :"")
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