My heart is keeping up and down, floating up and sinking down, so is my mind. A lot of things happened that making me happy and sad at the same time. Irony, yes. But that's life. I've been letting myself read a lot of inspirational writings or quotes. As you all may know (re: by all of you, i mean you who read my blog posts since the very first time which is i doubt that there would be the one like that), i am so concern to the age-added, or what so people called -birthday-. So, in order to calming my mind, and soul, i let myself read a lot of inspirational writing, and thats how my busy April become... Well, a little bit.. Peaceful? We'll see.
So, what happened in April, especially for the bad things, i just wished that it was an April Mop. So many anxieties, so many hopes yet so many dissapointments. It was allright, i think. I learned from the bad things, it made me stronger, it made me want to reach things higher, sooner, and what so people called fall seven times and stand eight times. The real is different from the expectation.
I think i almost forget about things that i have done in this month. More like, useful things, i mean. Well, at least, i found one. Become one of assessors in a psychological tests for the prospective students made me relieve and think, ah i did one useful thing this month. Seeing them with a lot of good, big positive energies made me.. jealous? They're so innovative, creative, full of hopes, dreams and i wish and am sure that they will get everything that they think they can do. Insha Allah..
Seeing them, i also see me, my mini-me in them. My energy when i was at their age, it was probably as big as theirs, or even twice bigger. Yet, by the time goes by, it just was missing, by the heart that broke for unlimited times, more than trillion times, it was just .. gone. I remember as well that i once was a dreamer too. The reality just hit me hard. No more fairy tales in my life, no more like moon or the sun that can smile, no more walking trees, worse is no more story about princesses and princes. I miss dreaming some dreams. My childhood moments, were .. amazing.
It was different from the flashback, i got a lot of invitation, this year. Reminding me again about the things ahead. Thing i should be concern about, too. The wedding invitations. So happy to see my friends have finally tied a knot. But it makes the worries come, too. It's fine, i say. Everything will come in time, i say. Nothing worth having comes easy, i say. All is well, i say.
Hakuna Matata
Insha Allah, Allah's plans are bigger than mine, are more beautiful than mine, are unpredictably awesome for me. All the things that happened surely happened on its time. It is probably is on the period when i have my worries more, but when it ends, beautiful things happen for sure. Like a river. There was some moment where the water seems shallow, and the moment where the water seems so deep. I am certainly sure about, Indeed, what is good for you, is good for you. What should be yours, should be yours. Aamiin Insha Allah..
Anyway, speaking of happiness of the month, my baby has a baby sister ! Nino is finally a big brother now and i am a proud aunty of these two. Her name is Nafisya, but we'd rather called her "Onin". Welcome Onin, aunty can't wait to play barbie with you :3
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